5 Tips For Soothing Parental Anxieties
Anxiety can be a good friend or a total enemy depending on its strength and purpose. Sometimes, anxiety can help warn us away from certain harmful areas of life. For example, if you’re a parent and your child makes friends with someone in the playground who you feel anxious about, that might be a good sign such a child, and their family, isn’t a great influence on them. That feeling might not be pleasant, but it can spur you to positive action.
However, sometimes parental anxiety can be much more harmful than it deserves to be. For example, you may find that you’re constantly questioning yourself and your utility as a parent, despite being just as caring and considerate as any worthwhile, loving caretaker of a family unit should be. Do you deserve to feel such self-criticism born out of bad thought patterns? We’d like to suggest that no, you shouldn’t.
But once parental anxieties are here, how can you deal with them? Let’s consider that, below:
Speak To Someone
Sometimes, saying things out loud takes away some of their power. When we vocalize the thoughts we have been ruminating on, we get to weigh them objectively instead of just accepting them as true. Perhaps you’re not the worst Mom in the world who ever lived, but whe you first thought that, it seemed reasonable.
Moreover, when you talk to another parent, you might realize that you’re not the only one feeling this way. They might have gone through similar experiences and can offer a bit of reassurance or perspective. It doesn’t fix everything, but it can make you feel less alone in it, which is a good start, and may be a prelude to talking to a doctor or mental health professional who can get to the source of your anxiety as well.
Take Your Time
Parenting doesn’t have to be a race, but it can feel like one, especially when anxiety makes you feel like everything needs to be perfect right now. But often, taking a breath and slowing things down is exactly what you need.
It’s fine to not have all the answers immediately and to be learning as you parent. It’s your first time through life as well as for your child. It’s okay to take a moment to think before reacting. If you feel overwhelmed by anxious thoughts, give yourself permission to step back and take your time, it can help you deflate before you make any decisions, even on an intense school run or if your child is refusing to brush their teeth before bed and you’re dealing with a huge tantrum. You have time, don’t apologize for using it.
Use Calming Hobbies
It can really help to focus on something else for a while, something that calms you down and gives your mind a break. Calming hobbies can be anything that makes you feel a little more at ease, such as knitting, painting, reading, gardening, doing a crossword or whatever else helps you zone out a bit.
The key is to find something that doesn’t add more stress to your day, like cleaning the house or throwing yourself into work. You get to rest a touch too and have some downtime. Don’t let anyone make you feel lesser for not working 1000% of the time.
Work On Your Sleep Schedule
How’s your sleep? As a parent, you might not even respond to that question but just laugh at it. But a lack of sleep and anxiety are closely related because you haven’t had the time to process your stress or emotionally regulate. This is a real physical effect, sometimes even close to being inebriated if you’re continually sleep-deprived.
Setting a consistent bedtime, even if it feels like there’s still so much to do, is essential. A little bedtime routine that helps you wind down, like drinking a cup of herbal tea or reading something light before you hit the pillow, can finally help you switch your “super active parent brain” into one that can actually sleep. Better sleep won’t solve everything of course, but it can make dealing with anxiety a bit easier when you’re not so worn out.
Work From Your Home Values, Not Comparison To Others
One of the biggest anxiety triggers for parents is comparison. It’s easy to look at other families and think they’ve got it all together while you’re just trying to tread water and do what you can. If you could only see into other households, you would likely be astounded as to how incorrect that impression is.
What works for one family doesn’t necessarily have to work for yours, and constantly comparing yourself to others will only make you feel worse. So, just parent according to your values. That’s enough. You’re here, and doing your best.
With this advice, we hope you can more easily soothe parental anxieties going forward, and even enjoy this process! That’s right, you’re allowed to. We wish you the warmest wishes as you soothe your anxieties.
