Finding Small Joys in the Day as a Mother
Motherhood can make time feel strange. The hours are full but at the same time, hard to remember when you sit and think about it. The same tasks repeat themselves and often there’s no clear line between what’s been done and what still needs doing. Even with all the love in the world in the middle of it, the routine can become so heavy. Small things get pushed aside because they don’t seem urgent, but those small things are often the ones that help most. Here’s what you need to know as a busy, overwhelmed mum.
Rest is more than sleep
Rest is about so much more than just taking a nap or getting a full night’s sleep. That kind of rest is of course important, but it’s not the only kind that’s needed- mental rest is often harder to come by. It can look like not having to plan dinner for once or not being the one who answers every question or solves every problem. It might be stepping outside alone for five minutes without someone asking for something. It can be difficult to do any of this alone, so if you have a support system definitely ask for help at times, it can make the world of difference. It’s common to say yes to help and then still carry most of the load. Sometimes because it’s easier, sometimes because the explanation takes too long. But letting help in fully can mean letting go of control in a way that feels uncomfortable. It can also mean things won’t be done the same way. The key is deciding what really has to be done a certain way and what can be handed off. Letting someone else make dinner even if the vegetables are overcooked. Letting a partner handle bedtime without checking how it went.
The pressure to be grateful all the time
Whether you realise it or not, when you’re a mum there’s pressure to love every moment- to be thankful for the mess and the noise. To not complain because ‘the years are short.’ Gratitude matters, but it’s not meant to erase reality. Being tired doesn’t mean love is missing, wanting a break doesn’t mean something is wrong. It helps to stop pretending the hard parts are fine. They take energy, even when they’re mixed with joy. And sometimes what’s needed isn’t a change in attitude but a change in pace, space or support. Therapy can be really useful if you’re struggling, as it can re-frame your thoughts. Just because you’re tired, sometimes grumpy and overwhelmed doesnt mean you’re not grateful so there’s no need to carry that guilt with you.
The small things aren’t small
What looks small from the outside often isn’t. Sitting down to eat something slowly. Enjoying a few pages of your book or a game of Freecell on your phone after a chaotic bed and bathtime routine. Lighting your favourite candle or relaxing in the bath- none of these things will make the day perfect, but they can make it that bit better!
