Ending a long-term relationship can feel heartbreaking, even if you know it is the best route for you and your partner. Sadly, raising children can add to the complexity of going through a divorce or separation.
After all, you will not only need to deal with the emotional toll of a breakup and create a new life without your spouse, but you must protect your kids along the way. Make the process easier by reading these four tips for mothers going through a challenging divorce or separation.
- Talk to Your Children Together
Even if you and your ex aren’t on the best terms, you must put your differences to one side when caring for your children. If possible, break the news of your divorce or separation to your kids together.
The united front will improve your children’s feelings of security during this confusing and upsetting time. Also, you must reassure your kids that the relationship breakdown wasn’t their fault and that you and their mom or dad love them more than anything.
- Maturely Work Through Your Problems with Your Ex
You and your ex owe it to your children to create a healthy co-parenting relationship. As you may have clashed during and after a separation, you might be unsure how you will communicate with each other and split childcare duties and finances.
Don’t allow your past experiences, egos, or opinions about each other to stand in the way of your children’s happiness. You must work through your differences, find solutions, and support each other as much as possible. Get started by visiting twohealthyhomes.com to learn about the co-parenting support options available, such as counseling, classes, parenting plan development, and parallel parenting (limited interaction).
- Lean On Your Support System
Navigating a painful divorce/separation alongside caring for children isn’t easy. Don’t suffer in silence during this difficult time. Lean on your support system as much as possible. Confide in your trusted friends about your emotions and worries, as they could provide a shoulder to cry on or put your fears or heartache into perspective.
If you are struggling to cope emotionally, organize for your children to spend a few hours or a night at a grandparent’s house. It could provide the space needed to practice self-care and feel happier and healthier once you pick up your kids. You don’t want to neglect yourself during this time, as it could, without you meaning to, come to affect your children.
- Don’t Turn Your Children into Messengers
As mentioned, you and your ex must find ways to communicate in an amicable, mature manner. For this reason, you must not turn your children into messengers, as this can add to their pain and suffering. Plus, you will likely feel guilty for using your kids.
Children need to know their parents are on the same team to feel emotionally secure, which is why you and your ex must not use them to send messages to each other. Find a way to communicate as adults, such as sending texts, picking up the phone, or scheduling face-to-face conversations.